Here is a birth story that shows how HypnoBirthing works under all situations!
Cameron's Birth Story
I decided to try HypnoBirthing because I am afraid of doctors and pain, perhaps unreasonably so. I very much wanted to have my baby without feeling fear and anxiety. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I joked that if I could set up the appointment for the epidural in advance, I would. As I learned more about HypnoBirthing, I downgraded my insistence on an epidural to an "if-needed" basis. When I would tell people about HypnoBirthing, they would look at me as though I were crazy. I would say, "For some reason, it just makes sense to me." No one thought that it would actually work. I must admit that I remained somewhat skeptical as well.
It's worth noting at this point that I had three major fears around labor:
1. Pitocin induction - I had heard so many horror stories about Pitocin, I was determined to avoid it at all costs.
2. No possibility of epidural – One of my sisters had a very fast delivery with her second baby and had no time to have an epidural.
3. Back labor - A friend's account of birthing her posterior baby sounded horrific.
At 6:00 am on June 30, after a night of no sleep, I decided to call my doctor. I had been having quite a bit of pain in my upper abdomen. I knew they weren't contractions. I wasn't due for another month and the pain was constant and different than any description of labor I'd ever heard. It felt as though a steel band were being tightened around my rib cage. My doctor told me to go to the hospital to have blood work done to try and determine what the problem was. My pregnancy had been incredibly easy so far. I joked to my husband, John, that I was going to be given a dose of Gas-X and sent home.
We went to labor and delivery and were situated in a room and had blood drawn. I remember thinking it was odd that we weren't just sent to the lab. Within an hour of the blood draw, the phone in the room rang and I answered. My doctor said, "Carol, you're going to have your baby today." It turned out that I had suddenly developed severe preeclampsia. We called my sister, Robin, our birthing companion, to tell her the news.
It goes without saying that my Birthing Plan did not include preeclampsia. I was supposed to begin labor and stay at home for as long as possible before heading to the hospital, where I would be five to six centimeters dilated upon check-in. I would recite birthing affirmations all the while. I would have an epidural, if I felt I needed one. My baby would arrive peacefully and I would feel no fear or anxiety. In reality, I didn't even have my bags packed for the hospital. The baby's clothes had not been washed and we didn't have sheets for the bassinet. John and I hadn't practiced HypnoBirthing in a little over a month. We had practiced only one time with Robin present. In fact, we had scheduled a "refresher course" with Kathie for the very next night.
The form of preeclampsia I had was called HELLP Syndrome. H=Hemolysis, bursting red blood cells; EL=Elevated Liver enzymes; LP=Low blood Platelets. The cure was to have the baby. I was not allowed out of bed, so I was catheterized. My sister arrived and my husband went home to pack a bag. I was zero percent effaced and less than one centimeter dilated. There was talk of Pitocin. I spoke to the doctor and asked if my water could be broken to get labor going, if their efforts to spur effacement (similar to Prostaglandin) helped me to dilate. She said she'd have to wait and see. I put on my headphones and listened to my Rainbow Relaxation and the Birthing Affirmations over and over again.
Once I was fully effaced, about five hours after the initial treatment, I was still less than two centimeters dilated. Labor had clearly not started. The minor tightening I felt in my lower abdomen did not even register on the monitor. My blood work continued to return results that my condition was worsening. My doctor told me that they would have to begin Pitocin. With my greatest labor fear a reality, I asked for an epidural. I was told that because of my low blood platelet count, I was at risk for uncontrolled bleeding. I could not have an epidural.
It was about 5:30 pm, and I was told that the Pitocin would be started by 6:30. I put my headphones back on and said to John and Robin, "I'm checking out now." I knew that I would need to be completely relaxed once the Pitocin started, so that I could stay "on top" of things. At this point, Robin and John called Kathie to ask for some pointers. She was very reassuring, and told them that even without practice, we had everything we'd need.
At 6:40, the Pitocin was added to my IV. No one told me that it had started but I remember feeling my surges suddenly and greatly intensify. The sensation was all in my lower back. I couldn't believe it. Back labor. I told John and Robin what was happening and they looked through all of my HypnoBirthing materials to see what they could do. There was a method for getting the baby to turn that involved stacking pillows under my knees and having me turn from one side to the other with each surge. We tried that for three surges and I found it exhausting. At that point, I asked that we stop and asked Robin to apply counter-pressure to my back and for John to recite HypnoBirthing cues and provide light-touch massage on my arms and head. I had planned on listening to the Steven Halpern CD I had purchased from Kathie. However, in the rush to get my things to the hospital, John had picked up some new-age CD that we had bought at Target and had never listened to. I didn't matter. I was completely calm and felt no fear.
I can't say that there was no pain. But my mind was so far away from my body, it didn't seem to register in the usual way. The counter-pressure massage from my sister served to move the sensation from my back into my abdomen. Once it was there, I remember rubbing my abdomen lightly and saying, "Thank you my body for bringing my baby to me." This had a definite anesthetic effect. I think that acknowledging and being thankful for the fact that my body was completely in charge prevented my mind from registering the pain. I used many visualizations: breathing in to fill up a balloon that then floated away from my body, the opening rose, and being on a beach were the most effective for me.
I spent the duration of my labor laying on my left side, asking for counter-pressure with each surge and listening to my CDs. On several occasions, I was asked to turn onto my back so that my progress could be checked. I had to have a second IV set in case there was a need for a blood transfusion. The doctor attached an internal monitor to the baby's head. None of these things interrupted my hypnosis.
When I felt that it was time to begin breathing the baby down, I let John and Robin know. They told the doctor. As the room was being prepared, I remember talking and laughing with John and Robin. Because my condition was worsening, I was asked to abandon "breathing the baby down" in favor of downright pushing in order to get the baby here faster. Even that did not break the hypnosis. After 20 minutes of pushing, Cameron arrived at 9:08 pm, two hours and 28 minutes after the Pitocin began.
Despite all evidence to the contrary, it was exactly the birth I had hoped for. I was calm and unafraid and the mood of the room was the same. There was nothing but joy when our little boy came.
By the way, my doctor called me the day after Cameron was born. She said that she had never seen anything like Cameron's birth. Not only was she impressed with the fact that I actually stayed relaxed, she also commented on how terrific the support was that I received from John and Robin. They were reading directly from the materials you passed out. She said that she had been very unsure of HypnoBirthing, but had been converted!
For further information on local HypnoBirthing Classes in Rockland, Westchester & Orange Counties in New York and Bergen County New Jersey contact www.BirthingWisdom.com
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Low Breastfeeding Rates Incur Billions in Medical Costs
Visit us online at www.MedPageToday.com
Low Breastfeeding Rates Incur Billions in Medical Costs
By Crystal Phend, Senior Staff Writer, MedPage Today
April 05, 2010
MedPage Today Action Points
Note that the economic analysis may have been an underestimate of the financial cost of low adherence to breastfeeding guidelines, since few of the cost projections were based on six months of exclusive breastfeeding.
Review
Poor compliance with breastfeeding recommendations costs the nation at least $13 billion each year, with nearly all of the cost related to infant morbidity and mortality, according to a comprehensive economic analysis.
If 90% of new mothers followed guidelines for six months of exclusive breastfeeding for their children, an estimated 911 deaths would be prevented annually, said authors Melissa Bartick, MD, MSc, of Harvard Medical School, and Arnold Reinhold, MBA, of the Alliance for the Prudent Use of Antibiotics, both in Boston.
Even 80% adherence would save $10.5 billion and prevent 741 deaths each year, they reported online in Pediatrics.
Taking action to help more families to follow the guidelines, such as by creating a national infrastructure to support breastfeeding, would likely be cost-effective, Bartick and Reinhold said.
Prior analyses that included fewer pediatric conditions affected by breastfeeding suggested a more modest potential savings of $3.6 billion if breastfeeding rates rose to meet the Healthy People 2010 objectives for initiation (75%) and six-month duration (50% any breastfeeding, 17% exclusive breastfeeding).
However, that data was based on actual breastfeeding rates collected by the infant formula industry and incorrectly assumed that this reflected exclusive breastfeeding, Bartick and Reinhold wrote.
So with national data now available from the CDC on breastfeeding, they aimed to get a more accurate estimate of the economics of breastfeeding.
The CDC's National Immunization Survey found actual breastfeeding rates in 2005 were 74.1% for initiation and the early postpartum period, 42.9% for any breastfeeding at six months, 12.3% for exclusive breastfeeding at six months, and 21.5% for any breastfeeding at 12 months.
"Exclusive breastfeeding" meant only breast milk -- no water, infant food, juice, formula, cow's milk, or sugar water.
Bartick and Reinhold determined direct and indirect costs of illness and premature death as assessed in a 2007 Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality analysis of the impact of breastfeeding on a host of maternal and childhood diseases.
The excess annual cost in 2007 dollars associated with the current poor levels of adherence compared with 90% compliance was:
$4.7 billion and 447 excess deaths due to sudden infant death syndrome
$2.6 billion due to 249 excess deaths from necrotizing enterocolitis
$1.8 billion due to 172 excess deaths from lower respiratory tract infections
$908 million due to otitis media
$601 million due to atopic dermatitis
$592 million due to childhood obesity
The largest proportion of these costs -- 74% -- was associated with premature deaths, although the price for more common conditions, such as otitis media and childhood obesity, was still substantial, the researchers noted.
There wasn't enough data available for type 2 diabetes to estimate the effect of breastfeeding duration, "although these costs are partially represented in the obesity analysis," the researchers said.
Furthermore, few of these estimates were based on exclusive breastfeeding for six months and most erred on the conservative side, so the projections may actually be an underestimate, they explained.
"Substantial gains could be made with exclusive breastfeeding for four months and any breastfeeding at six months," they concluded.
The researchers reported that they had no financial relationships or conflicts of interest to disclose.
Primary source: Pediatrics
Source reference:
Bartick M, Reinhold A "The burden of suboptimal breastfeeding in the United States: a pediatric cost analysis" Pediatrics 2010; 125: e1048–e1056.
Disclaimer
The information presented in this activity is that of the authors and does not necessarily represent the views of the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, MedPage Today, and the commercial supporter. Specific medicines discussed in this activity may not yet be approved by the FDA for the use as indicated by the writer or reviewer. Before prescribing any medication, we advise you to review the complete prescribing information, including indications, contraindications, warnings, precautions, and adverse effects. Specific patient care decisions are the responsibility of the healthcare professional caring for the patient. Please review our Terms of Use.
© 2004-2010 MedPage Today, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
www.BirthingWisdom.com
Breastfeeding Classes
Board Certified Lactation Consultant
Low Breastfeeding Rates Incur Billions in Medical Costs
By Crystal Phend, Senior Staff Writer, MedPage Today
April 05, 2010
MedPage Today Action Points
Note that the economic analysis may have been an underestimate of the financial cost of low adherence to breastfeeding guidelines, since few of the cost projections were based on six months of exclusive breastfeeding.
Review
Poor compliance with breastfeeding recommendations costs the nation at least $13 billion each year, with nearly all of the cost related to infant morbidity and mortality, according to a comprehensive economic analysis.
If 90% of new mothers followed guidelines for six months of exclusive breastfeeding for their children, an estimated 911 deaths would be prevented annually, said authors Melissa Bartick, MD, MSc, of Harvard Medical School, and Arnold Reinhold, MBA, of the Alliance for the Prudent Use of Antibiotics, both in Boston.
Even 80% adherence would save $10.5 billion and prevent 741 deaths each year, they reported online in Pediatrics.
Taking action to help more families to follow the guidelines, such as by creating a national infrastructure to support breastfeeding, would likely be cost-effective, Bartick and Reinhold said.
Prior analyses that included fewer pediatric conditions affected by breastfeeding suggested a more modest potential savings of $3.6 billion if breastfeeding rates rose to meet the Healthy People 2010 objectives for initiation (75%) and six-month duration (50% any breastfeeding, 17% exclusive breastfeeding).
However, that data was based on actual breastfeeding rates collected by the infant formula industry and incorrectly assumed that this reflected exclusive breastfeeding, Bartick and Reinhold wrote.
So with national data now available from the CDC on breastfeeding, they aimed to get a more accurate estimate of the economics of breastfeeding.
The CDC's National Immunization Survey found actual breastfeeding rates in 2005 were 74.1% for initiation and the early postpartum period, 42.9% for any breastfeeding at six months, 12.3% for exclusive breastfeeding at six months, and 21.5% for any breastfeeding at 12 months.
"Exclusive breastfeeding" meant only breast milk -- no water, infant food, juice, formula, cow's milk, or sugar water.
Bartick and Reinhold determined direct and indirect costs of illness and premature death as assessed in a 2007 Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality analysis of the impact of breastfeeding on a host of maternal and childhood diseases.
The excess annual cost in 2007 dollars associated with the current poor levels of adherence compared with 90% compliance was:
$4.7 billion and 447 excess deaths due to sudden infant death syndrome
$2.6 billion due to 249 excess deaths from necrotizing enterocolitis
$1.8 billion due to 172 excess deaths from lower respiratory tract infections
$908 million due to otitis media
$601 million due to atopic dermatitis
$592 million due to childhood obesity
The largest proportion of these costs -- 74% -- was associated with premature deaths, although the price for more common conditions, such as otitis media and childhood obesity, was still substantial, the researchers noted.
There wasn't enough data available for type 2 diabetes to estimate the effect of breastfeeding duration, "although these costs are partially represented in the obesity analysis," the researchers said.
Furthermore, few of these estimates were based on exclusive breastfeeding for six months and most erred on the conservative side, so the projections may actually be an underestimate, they explained.
"Substantial gains could be made with exclusive breastfeeding for four months and any breastfeeding at six months," they concluded.
The researchers reported that they had no financial relationships or conflicts of interest to disclose.
Primary source: Pediatrics
Source reference:
Bartick M, Reinhold A "The burden of suboptimal breastfeeding in the United States: a pediatric cost analysis" Pediatrics 2010; 125: e1048–e1056.
Disclaimer
The information presented in this activity is that of the authors and does not necessarily represent the views of the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, MedPage Today, and the commercial supporter. Specific medicines discussed in this activity may not yet be approved by the FDA for the use as indicated by the writer or reviewer. Before prescribing any medication, we advise you to review the complete prescribing information, including indications, contraindications, warnings, precautions, and adverse effects. Specific patient care decisions are the responsibility of the healthcare professional caring for the patient. Please review our Terms of Use.
© 2004-2010 MedPage Today, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
www.BirthingWisdom.com
Breastfeeding Classes
Board Certified Lactation Consultant
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Infant/Child CPR, Choking & Safety
Infant/Child CPR, Choking & Safety
In the US nearly 400 children under the age of four die every month due to
unintentional accidents!
This class presents age appropriate home proofing and safety concerns inside
and outside the home from infancy to toddlerhood. Learn how to deal
with an emergency situation.
Infant/Child CPR and choking will be presented and reviewed by participants with
hands-on return demonstration on
sanitary "CPR Manikins."
Safety & CPR handouts are given to each participant for display at home.
Location: Blauvelt, NY
Date: May 1st (Sat)
Time: 10am-12:30pm
Fee: $30.00/person
Class size is limited so sign up early.
You can reserved your space in this class by sending the class fee to:
Pauline Nardella, RN, MPA
2 Private Lovett Ct
Blauvelt, NY 10913
Private classes also offered for 16 participants
To receive further information or to sign up for the next class
go to info@BirthingWisdom.com
or call 845-680-0385
www.BirthingWisdom.com
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Infantino Announces Sling Recall
http://www.attachmentparenting.org/news/news.php#infantslingsafety
Infant Sling Safety
Today we received news of the Infantino sling recall, and the Today Show interviewed one of the mothers whose baby died in the sling. It goes without saying that we are deeply saddened by this mother's story of her baby's death,” said Barbara Nicholson, API Cofounder. “And hopefully this recall will heighten every parent's awareness of the importance of proper positioning of their baby in a sling. Unfortunately there is a tremendous lack of research on babywearing safety...there is not one study that proves that baby slings are actually the cause (or not the cause) of these deaths. We may never know if these babies were medically fragile, or perhaps had a SIDS death in the sling. Of course, safely using a sling is a key issue, and parents need to be cautious as they would with a car seat, walker, or any device, but there are no data/studies about slings to date. It has been pointed out that the drawings the CPSC released were not based on research either...just a good guess of guidelines/recommendations for proper use of slings. As we say in the API statement on babywearing safety concerns,” Nicholson concluded, “Our hearts go out to parents who have lost babies, and we hope that the good that comes from this is education and awareness, not only of safety, but why slings have been used for centuries all over the world for optimum baby health and well-being.
For more information, read API's Statement on Babywearing Safety Concern (PDF).
Infantino Announces Sling Recall
Infantino Commits to Work with Consumer Product Safety Commission on Ongoing Investigation of Sling-Style Baby Carriers
SAN DIEGO, March 24, 2010 — Infantino President Jack Vresics issued the following statement today:
"At Infantino, our top priority is the safety of infants whose parents and caregivers use our products, and we highly value the trust that mothers and families place in the company’s products every day. Infantino has a well-earned reputation for designing safe and enjoyable products that are manufactured to the highest quality standards.
Infantino is announcing a voluntary replacement program for the Infantino SlingRider and Wendy Bellissimo infant baby carriers to address concerns raised by the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC). One million of these infant slings are being recalled in the United States and 15,000 are being recalled in Canada.
Our company is comprised of moms, dads, sisters, aunts, uncles and grandparents and we care deeply about the quality and safety of our products. Safety is our number one concern and today's announcement of a free replacement program reflects this commitment. As an industry leader, Infantino has also been working closely with CPSC and other agencies, as well as the international agency ASTM to develop safety standards for baby slings to ensure that these products are safe and that they are used appropriately. We will continue to play a leadership role in the industry and to cooperate closely with CPSC as it continues its investigation of all baby slings."
Consumers should stop using the recalled slings immediately and contact Infantino to receive a free replacement product, including a choice of the Wrap & Tie infant carrier, the 2 in 1 Shopping Cart Cover, or the 3 in 1 Grow & Play Activity Gym, plus a Jittery Pal Rattle.
Contact Infantino at 866.860.1361 between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. PT Monday through Friday.
On March 12, 2010, CPSC warned consumers against the use of all sling-style baby carriers in certain circumstances and announced that it was actively investigating all baby sling carriers to determine what additional action may be appropriate.
www.BirthingWisdom.com
Infant Sling Safety
Today we received news of the Infantino sling recall, and the Today Show interviewed one of the mothers whose baby died in the sling. It goes without saying that we are deeply saddened by this mother's story of her baby's death,” said Barbara Nicholson, API Cofounder. “And hopefully this recall will heighten every parent's awareness of the importance of proper positioning of their baby in a sling. Unfortunately there is a tremendous lack of research on babywearing safety...there is not one study that proves that baby slings are actually the cause (or not the cause) of these deaths. We may never know if these babies were medically fragile, or perhaps had a SIDS death in the sling. Of course, safely using a sling is a key issue, and parents need to be cautious as they would with a car seat, walker, or any device, but there are no data/studies about slings to date. It has been pointed out that the drawings the CPSC released were not based on research either...just a good guess of guidelines/recommendations for proper use of slings. As we say in the API statement on babywearing safety concerns,” Nicholson concluded, “Our hearts go out to parents who have lost babies, and we hope that the good that comes from this is education and awareness, not only of safety, but why slings have been used for centuries all over the world for optimum baby health and well-being.
For more information, read API's Statement on Babywearing Safety Concern (PDF).
Infantino Announces Sling Recall
Infantino Commits to Work with Consumer Product Safety Commission on Ongoing Investigation of Sling-Style Baby Carriers
SAN DIEGO, March 24, 2010 — Infantino President Jack Vresics issued the following statement today:
"At Infantino, our top priority is the safety of infants whose parents and caregivers use our products, and we highly value the trust that mothers and families place in the company’s products every day. Infantino has a well-earned reputation for designing safe and enjoyable products that are manufactured to the highest quality standards.
Infantino is announcing a voluntary replacement program for the Infantino SlingRider and Wendy Bellissimo infant baby carriers to address concerns raised by the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC). One million of these infant slings are being recalled in the United States and 15,000 are being recalled in Canada.
Our company is comprised of moms, dads, sisters, aunts, uncles and grandparents and we care deeply about the quality and safety of our products. Safety is our number one concern and today's announcement of a free replacement program reflects this commitment. As an industry leader, Infantino has also been working closely with CPSC and other agencies, as well as the international agency ASTM to develop safety standards for baby slings to ensure that these products are safe and that they are used appropriately. We will continue to play a leadership role in the industry and to cooperate closely with CPSC as it continues its investigation of all baby slings."
Consumers should stop using the recalled slings immediately and contact Infantino to receive a free replacement product, including a choice of the Wrap & Tie infant carrier, the 2 in 1 Shopping Cart Cover, or the 3 in 1 Grow & Play Activity Gym, plus a Jittery Pal Rattle.
Contact Infantino at 866.860.1361 between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. PT Monday through Friday.
On March 12, 2010, CPSC warned consumers against the use of all sling-style baby carriers in certain circumstances and announced that it was actively investigating all baby sling carriers to determine what additional action may be appropriate.
www.BirthingWisdom.com
Monday, March 15, 2010
A Gift From Life
Gisele Bundchen blogs about her amazing birth!
March 8 was International Women's Day and the Brazilian beauty chose to launch her new website on this special day and share her pride in being a powerful woman. The 29-year-old model mom will continue to share information and raise awareness for environmental issues, childbirth, motherhood, health, spirituality and so much more. Here's Gisele's first blog entry, entitled A Gift From Life:http://blog.giselebundchen.com.br/?p=772&lang=en
March 8 was International Women's Day and the Brazilian beauty chose to launch her new website on this special day and share her pride in being a powerful woman. The 29-year-old model mom will continue to share information and raise awareness for environmental issues, childbirth, motherhood, health, spirituality and so much more. Here's Gisele's first blog entry, entitled A Gift From Life:http://blog.giselebundchen.com.br/?p=772&lang=en
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Carolena's Birth
Hello Dear Family and Friends!
Below is my account of Carolena's Birth. It will be up at a great home birth website soon, but I wanted to share with you all in this way too. Feel free to share this with anyone interested in a happy and loving home birth story.
Wishing you all our best,
S and C
Carolena's Birth
December 7th, 2009
The baby (cherub) is sleeping beside me on the bed, one little arm draped across her cheek. According to everyone’s advice, I should be sleeping too, but I have wanted to record as much as I could recall before it is all one beautiful glossy memory. This is the story of our daughter’s homebirth on December 3, 2009. The choice to birth at home was an easy one without many reservations. Among them were the fear of disturbing the neighbors (which is quite possible as I sang through each contraction…more on that later) and the fear of destroying my favorite rug with various gross fluids (I actually birthed on my favorite rug with many layers of towels between us, and am so happy such a beautiful piece of art holds that memory).
Notably absent is the reservation shared by many…that “something” would go wrong. From the beginning of the pregnancy, I couldn’t wrap my mind around the belief that pregnancy and birth are a medical instance in need of treatment. My husband and I both favored the idea that birth is a normal physiological event and inherently safe process. It seemed the most tangible manifestation of nature and spirit that I could imagine. Very early on I began researching models of prenatal care that could reserve intervention and treatment for medically necessary complications, and allow a normally developing pregnancy to progress into a normally developing labor and birth. The primary goal was an emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy mother and baby. I realize labor doesn’t always progress as planned, and would have been happy and grateful to transfer our care to our local hospital in the event of an abnormality, complication, or (as most common with home birth transfers) a stall in labor progress. Luckily, there is education and information available today so that all expecting families can make choices that feel best for them. For us, this was midwife-managed care, although in the beginning we weren’t planning to birth at home. Deep in my pregnant belly I longed for the comfort of home birth, but I struggled with the myth so deeply indoctrinated in us all…you have to GO somewhere to labor and birth.
We started our journey at a free standing birth center near our apartment in Brooklyn. The center is staffed by four midwives and throughout the course of pregnancy, we saw each one (as is common with obstetrical practices, we wouldn’t know who would be on call the day labor started). Instead of packing a bag and preparing to leave for the hospital at the first sign of labor, we would pack a bag and labor at home until active labor began and then travel to the birthing center for delivery. At the center, I was so pleased with the quality of care that I found. I was surrounded by birthing professionals who reserved Pitocin use for emergency situations, wouldn’t equate a multiple pregnancy with a c-section, and didn’t even offer epidurals. I didn’t realize just how medicinal it still was. I had ultrasounds for instance, and in addition to multiple blood tests to check for a very long list of abnormalities, I drank the strange orange soda substance to check for gestational diabetes.
The midwives measured me and we listened for the baby’s heartbeat at each short visit. Because I spent most of my pregnancy deeply and quietly trusting of my body, when the portion of the check up arrived for me to ask all my burning questions, I wasn’t really interested in discussing all the strange and random pregnancy quirks, favoring talk of my meditation practice, the journal I was starting (of my experience of pregnancy that I plan to give to my daughter when she is pregnant someday J) and which affirmations were working best so far to keep me balanced. While the midwives would patiently nod while I described my vision of a peaceful, uncomplicated birth, there was a vacancy in their eyes that I can only attribute to a waiting room full of other moms needing their urine and weight checked too. It was better than what I imagined care to be at an obstetrical practice, but I wanted more.
Around my 28th week of pregnancy, we moved to a larger apartment in the Bronx, relieving some tension that had cropped up in my marriage due to sheer lack of space. While the birthing center assured me that many birthing moms traveled from over 2 hours away to labor there, my 45 minute labor commute scared me. My dreams of freedom of movement, candles, music, dancing, and laughter were replaced with nightmares of being fully dilated during rush hour traffic on the Brooklyn Queens Expressway, and an unassisted back of our SUV birth.
Enter our superwoman home birth midwife. I found her during an internet search of all places, and found her face so kind I scheduled an interview. Although I wasn’t positive yet I had the strength to make my secret longing for home birth a reality, I wanted to meet with her in hopes I would find clarity surrounding my choices. In addition to sharing experience, offering references, and generally just putting me at ease, she made us laugh. I didn’t realize how much I needed a practioner to be both knowledgeable at the craft, and also human enough to laugh at the process. We loved her. I wanted to home birth, and think I just needed someone to say YES YOU CAN. Coincidentally, we also found out a birth she attended was featured in a documentary that was next on our Netflix queue, a great movie called Orgasmic Birth. Although I had trouble picturing myself reaching orgasm during labor like some of the birthing women, we were excited to see her in action (and actually, our birth was more like her patient’s, beautiful and NOISY).
We began each prenatal visit at our homebirth midwife’s office with couch time. We discussed my diet, my feelings, my dream birth, and my questions before the routine check-up. She lent us books, documentaries, and showed us many photos of childbirth at home so we would be as prepared as possible. One of my favorite things from these visits is before our midwife measured or checked the baby’s heartbeat, she would lovingly place her hands on my belly and joyfully say “Hi, Baby!” I loved that our little mermaid girl swimming about in there was greeted. Without her, after all, we would not have been there in the first place. On average, our appointments at the birthing center lasted about 15 minutes. With our home birth midwife, they were closer to an hour.
At a prenatal appointment conducted in our home with our midwife and our doula, they both asked what sort of vision I had for the birth. They wanted to be able to respect my wishes, and also hold the type of energy in the space in case I wasn’t able to maintain it. I wanted our beautiful home to be warm and dimly lit, have softly playing music, the sound of our softly trickling fountain, a million lit candles, and ROMANCE JOY and LOVE energy filling our apartment, both to nurture me, and to make the place our little girl journeyed to beautiful and comfortable. During labor, I wanted to laugh, dance, sing, and kiss my buddy. I wanted to relax into the joy that my baby was coming, Most of all, I wanted to trust my body to know what to do. I had a commitment from the birth team of my hubby, midwife, doula and my mom to maintain a loving, safe and gentle process for me and the baby. I joined a wonderful birth circle with other expecting moms where we released residual fears, blessed our bodies, and imagined our perfect births. I created drawings and notecards to hang that reflected the vision I had of a beautiful, gentle birth in hopes that the constant reminders would somehow influence the big day.
On my due date of November 23, my mom arrived. She planned to stay for three weeks. We were all hoping the baby wanted to come sooner than later so we’d have the necessary postpartum support that is so important for women to receive. I spent over a week with my mom watching movies, tooling around Manhattan, and answering the question “do you feel any contractions yet?” about 137 times. Every so often, I felt slight tingling sensations, but without any pattern whatsoever. Each new one even felt so different from the last, that if I were to experience it again I am not sure I would recognize them as Braxton Hicks.
The morning of December 2nd, I noticed I passed my mucus plug. I excitedly went into the living room and told my mom that YES I think we’re having a baby soon. I had already decided that during my early labor, I wanted to make a birthday cake for my little girl. We decided her name would be a tribute to my late grandmother, and so I wanted to make her specialty, Italian Crème Cake. (I get a lot of mileage out of that detail…not only did I have a home birth but I made a cake during labor. People are in disbelief. J)
Not yet contracting really, but just FEELING like the day was here, I started my cake project. During the baking I became ravenous. I ate about 5 leftover pancakes, a banana, and some other assorted snacks. Later I recognized this as a typical early labor sign…my body was trying to tank up for the day’s work. While my cakes were cooling, I decided to watch a little guilty pleasure comfort TV viewing (Gilmore Girls on DVD) and rest for a while. I dozed and watched and started to notice the dull tightening sensation I had been feeling all week were occurring about every 12 minutes. I was SO excited to realize that finally after all the waiting there was a pattern to the contractions. Not wanting to get my hopes up in case it turned out to be a long day, I napped and continued my GG marathon (for any fans out there….it was the season where Rory is secretly into Jess but still dating Dean. Juicy).
With beautiful butterflies in my tummy, I decided to take a bath. As I soaked, I called out to my mom in the other room every time I felt another tightening. Just as I’d done so many times before, I rubbed my belly and imagined what that little angel looked like. Realizing I would soon find out made me grin from ear to ear. The contractions still weren’t painful, and were just a dull achy feeling. My mom said they were starting to come every 8 minutes now. This was it! By the time I got out of the tub, I started to feel like I was leaving the room. It was so intense already. I lay on my bed, closed my eyes and started to go through one of the relaxations I learned in our Hypnobirthing class. (Hypnobirthing is a childbirth preparation method in which relaxation and visualization are utilized to eliminate the fear that constricts birthing muscles and allow your mind to aid your birthing). As I became more and more attuned and present in my body, everything else just started melting. I remember calling out to my mom and husband that I think they better put together the birthing tub we rented because this baby was coming faster than I expected.
Around 3:30, I met my much appreciated and loved birthing partner, the rented Aqua Doula birth tub. Instinctively, I sat in the same position polar bears do when they labor and rocked back and forth as my hubby rolled tennis balls on my lower back. The contractions were coming about every four minutes, and were strong already. During this time, I pictured this drawing our childbirth educator shared with us of an opening flower with a baby’s head in the center. With every rise, I imagined my body opening. At the advice of the doula that led the birth circle I joined, I also mentally said YES and THANK YOU to each tightening, yet opening feeling. Over the course of the next hour, the contractions began coming every 2 minutes. I was so deep in my body that I was having trouble coming out in between contractions to carry on conversation. My husband (or my mom?) called our doula. By the time she arrived, the contractions that were bringing my beautiful baby closer to us were only 90 seconds apart. It was around this time that I started chanting. A deep, moan-y, unstructured chant come from deep within my soul each time another came on. I am told most times, I was harmonizing with the brilliant global, rhythmic birth music mix my husband made. It makes me smile that even in labor, I was creating harmonies.
Dreamlike, my midwife somehow arrived. About 5 hours into labor, I moved into our bedroom and asked her to check my progress. Luckily, I was 7 centimeters dilated and about 90% effaced. I say luckily because it is extraordinary, hard work. If I had gotten news that I wasn’t progressing as quickly as it felt like I should be, I imagine it would have been very discouraging. I feel for women who labor in hospitals and are forced into frequent and disruptive vaginal exams. Back to the tub I went where hubby resumed rubbing my back with tennis balls, which at this point was adding to the intensity. Apparently, I couldn’t control my volume when I struggled to focus long enough to ask (demand?) he STOP THE BALLS. I started picturing this spiral charm our childbirth educator gifted us. I traced in my mind its grooves while internally chanting with each contraction, “I am connected to every woman before me and every woman after”, the power and poignancy of which fueled me.
About an hour later, I was fading. I had gotten sick earlier in the day and the thought of eating again made my stomach churn. The only energy I was adding was in the form of frozen cubes of cranberry juice. My arms were tired from holding my position, and I struggled with the most challenging part of my birth…not knowing when it would be over. It is a bit like running a marathon without ever knowing just how long a marathon race is. I felt like if I just knew when I would see a finish line I could pace myself. Contractions were still coming every 90 seconds and lasting about 60 seconds. With only half a minute to rest between each, I desperately needed to know. I went back to our bedroom so our midwife could examine me. At 9 centimeters dilated and completely effaced, it seems I was somewhere around mile 20. Relief flooded me; the baby’s almost here. After the exam, the bag of waters in which my little girl so gracefully swam about for 9 months released. About 10 minutes later, I started pushing.
Because active labor was so manageable for me, I was completely overwhelmed by the intensity of pushing. Guttural screams escaped my tired throat each and every push. I was still lying on my side on our bed; eyes shut, I felt paralyzed. It was so intense that I was letting contractions pass without a push. My midwife and doula were encouraging me to try a new position, but I couldn’t move. I struggled to cry, but couldn’t find tears. Comfort comes when you most need it I suppose, because at that moment I heard a small clap of thunder and a downpour of rain. When I opened my eyes, I noticed my mom had moved a tray of candles into the bedroom and they were softly illuminating the Buddha statue on my dresser. The sound of rain and a candlelit Buddha saved me. I finally moved from the bed, sat on the birthing stool my midwife set up on my favorite rug and leaned against my sweet love husband. Finally, I reached down to find the baby was crowning. I remember hearing my mom say, “Oh, her head is out now!” Another push at 12:25am, and Carolena Frances Benelli joined the world. I looked down at her, overcome with sheer wonder and joy.
We wanted to leave her umbilical cord attached as long as possible so that she would benefit from the rich nutrients still pulsing through from the placenta. Maybe because of this, or maybe because I was just so exhausted, it was another hour and a half before I birthed the placenta. Carolena nursed and then snuggled with her grandma so I could clean up. Perhaps the most romantic moment of my life was my husband coming into the shower and cleaning my body after I gave birth to our daughter. I felt so loved and cared for in that moment. I came out of the shower to fresh sheets and a cleaned room. Our little love weighed in at 9 pounds, 3 ounces, and measured 21 1/2 inches. Around 3:30 in the morning, our midwife and doula went home, and the new grandma went to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I snuggled in with our new little angel and enjoyed our first night of sleep together.
There is not a single thing I would change about the beautiful way our daughter joined the world. Seriously, how many times did I describe something as beautiful in this account? There just aren’t many other words for it. I am so grateful for the information available that allowed us to truly make conscious choices for Carolena’s birth, and that I found the perfect birth team for me (thanks Pauline, Marin, Nancy, Anne, Mom, Chris, and all the wonderful women I’ve met before the birth and since who encouraged me). I would birth naturally, and at home as many times as my husband will agree to pregnancies J. When I tell the story, women are shocked that I “made it through natural childbirth”. To the women that think I am somehow MORE powerful than they, I would just like to say YOU’RE WRONG! My body is no different, and the power that enabled me to birth in the way it was intended is in every woman. The only difference between us is mental; I know what is possible for every woman and every baby. I learned that it is as true in birth as in life…you have the experience you intend to have. And mine was just beautiful.
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